Equipment

Final Fantasy 14’s bizarre Fall Guys event drops later this month, and I’m scared my trips into the bean dimension will be a good way to make gil-

The Final Fantasy 14 x Fall Guys event has been in the pipeline for a while now, and we’ve just been treated to a full list of details, as outlined on the game’s official website. 

I’ve felt deeply conflicted about this whole thing. While FF14’s no stranger to crossovers—heck, there was an entire raid series that was just Nier Automata—they still fit into the game’s lore if you kinda squint. Etheirys and its shards already have ancient Allagan test tubes, spaceships, dragons that are aliens, and a VR fight where you battle against a train.

But this is… this is just Fall Guys. There’s not been much of an attempt to make it Final Fantasy, save the occasional chocobo sign. The event rewards are also so garish I actually kinda love them—with the exception of a knit cap that’s just… a bisected fall guy. Imagine someone wore a hat that was just half a human torso. Even if it was made out of wool, you’d be pretty alarmed.

Still, the event looks fun, and the rewards are actually extensive. There’s the Gentlebean set and crowns shown above, but you’ll also be able to get a mount, a pretty cute emote, some minions, housing items, framer’s kits, and wait, you can get dyes? Oh no.

For context, Gunmetal Black and Pearl White Dye items have been the source of my passive income ever since the Island Sanctuary released. At the time of writing they’re going for around 24,000 gil a pop on my server, but they’ve gone for 50,000 per item before. That’s not a lot of money in the grand scheme of things (endgame crafted gear can run you 200,000 an item) but you can get a good hunk of crash every week with little effort.

This is entirely dependent on how much Manderville Gold Saucer Fame (MGF) you earn per run. A full set of the Gentlebean swag—whether you go for a crown or the horrible, terrible, no-good dead fall guy hat—will run you 1,640 MGF. Meanwhile, Gunmetal Black and Pearl White Dye are about 750 each. Dragoon Blue dye, which also sells well, is a more affordable 150.

Granted, it’s not the best way to earn money. But I’m allergic to crafting despite having all my crafting jobs at 90, which means it might be the most efficient move for me. The prospect of condemning my Warrior of Light to the Fall Guys dimension for a few dozen runs is upsetting me. I’ll get the cursed hat first though. I hate it, but it must be mine.

You’ll be able to play the limited-time event from October 31 to December 31, though there are plans to bring it back every so often. Once it’s live, you’ll need to trek to Ul’dah and pick up the quest “It Could Happen To You.” From there your journey into the bean zone can begin proper.

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